As I walked towards the big window and slowly drew the curtains, a thousand rays of sun came flooding in. I closed my eyes to soak in the warmth and the clarity of all the nostalgic memories rushing in. I needed a moment to just think and give these very precious memories my undivided attention. I stepped out of the walls of my beautiful and comfortable house as I walked towards the untrimmed grass with splashes of hopeful yellow; I forced myself to sit and be still. I allowed my heart to feel the pain of loosing people, places and many things familiar, my nose to smell the mesmerizing scent of grandma’s garden of roses, gardenias, marigold and lilies,mixed in with sweet mangoes, my eyes to vividly picture the clothes hanging on the ropes to dry underneath the tormenting heat from the sun, my arms to feel the embrace of all who ill never meet on this earth and others who are so far away and finally urged my mouth to whisper “I miss you so much; I wish you were here with me, everyday”.
I missed you during my adult baptism; but it was due to your unwavering faith that I chose to give my heart and life first, to God. I would have appreciated your wise and comforting words when I experienced my first heartbreak and loss; but I rose resilient from witnessing your lives of consistent perseverance. I wish you could have heard the applause after I sang my heart out; but I could almost hear you singing the beautiful harmony to my melody. I wish you could have shared the experience of floating in a tiny canoe on the restless Amazon river being balanced by the eight of us; but I did see you right beside me every time a bright orange butterfly paid a visit to the canoe or led the way in the jungle accompanied by magnificent turquoise winged butterflies with outlines of the darkest black. Lastly I felt your warmth today in the gentle breeze whispering your promise of unconditional love and kindness, that I will try to share with the world around me with a smile.